Living Happy

Talk about crunch time! Yaow. I have missed a couple blog post days…one word: university.

Stress. You can find many synonyms which all describe a form of stress – anxiety, worry, strain. I think as a collective whole, we have become lost in the constant pursuit of something; most commonly related to happiness.

You’re probably woken up by an alarm clock daily and from there things follow as usual everyday. Right? You probably deal with jerks (even if it’s just someone who shoves you out of the way in a Starbucks line); you most likely take some form of transit to get to work or school, and let’s face it, morning commutes are poopy [insert poop emoji]. When you finally get to work/school you will likely be doing the humdrum things required of you and then time will come to go home. You get home and enjoy dinner, spend time with your significant other, watch TV, do homework, or whatever else is your norm and go to bed. Then rinse and repeat.

The thing with an ordinary day is that it is …ordinary. You have to learn to find joy in the mundane. It is good to be ambitious, to look forward to things, and to plan. Sometimes, though, we run the risk of waiting for happiness. It is very easy, especially these days, to get so wrapped up in life that we miss what is right in front of us and we forget to enjoy living. I constantly hear people say “I’ll be happy when…” or “I won’t be happy until…” and that is not only unhealthy [more on that later] but it is also really difficult to live life in that way. I assure you, if you asked me this morning what I would rather do: go to my lab and neutralize different acids all day or lay on crisp white linens in a luxurious hotel with an ocean view while eating exotics fruits alongside my sweetheart. Ding, ding, ding! Yep, most definitely option #2. That said, I try to find beauty in the average day. Living with a philosophy of “I’ll be happy when…” is exhausting. It makes everyday life a marathon of chasing castles in the sky. We may think that one day something will happen and the rest of our lives will be magnificent, glittery and shiny. But that is not the case. Happiness does not come to those who wait longingly for it. It comes to those who learn to notice it all around them on a daily basis. Life will always be a mixture of good and bad and boring and exciting and tragic and blissful and difficult and smooth. I think the point of life to enjoy the days you are given, to find beauty and happiness in the days that aren’t glamorous. Even those who have what we perceive as enchanting lives probably feel and think differently from what you’d expect.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to dream and plan and look forward to life events. But it is equally as important to be positive about today. To focus on what’s good around you and what you are grateful for, instead of taking things (or maybe even people) for granted just because you are searching and hoping for something to spring up and change your life drastically into something extravagant. That kind of thinking won’t bring you anything except disappointment with your life and those around you. In short: life is messy and largely unpredictable. So, until you change your perspective, you won’t enjoy everyday to the extent that you should. Try to see the good in your “mundane” life. Frankly speaking, your mundane life is probably riddled with what other people are praying for.

Every day won’t be a trip to the amusement park, unless you work at one…in which case…every day will be a trip to the amusement park. And that would be awful haha!

Hold on to the positive, celebrate the little things, look for what is good and hold on to that. Your loved ones, the sunshine, a delicious dinner, a funny movie, your pet, a comfy bed. There are things in this life which aren’t beautiful, so when those moments creep into our lives, it is important to have enough positive energy and thoughts built up to be able to get through it.

Remember that “when” isn’t happening until “when” happens. You may not even know what and at what point that will be. Now is happening. Today. Find something everyday which makes you smile or makes someone else smile. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant life to be a good one, all it has to be is seen in the brightest light possible and lived with enjoyment.

Coming back to why “I will be happy when…” or “I won’t be happy until…” is unhealthy:

• It breeds stress. Stress is the #1 thing that kills you. I have recently done a very large amount of research on adulthood development and read many, many scholarly articles on stress. The main idea: stress shortens your lifespan, it increases your chances of premature aging, it may lead to early on-set of diseases, it slows your metabolism down, often times it leads to insomnia, it leads to stress-related illnesses (awful stuff), it causes you to be miserable/can lead to depression. There are many nasty things that stress has been linked to, but really, need I say more?
• It causes you to forget that you deserve to be happy now. 
• You become irritable, angry, pessimistic, and an overall vile human being to be around. That being due to the stress, the disappointments, the generally negative view of things.
• You compare yourself, your life and events to other people. You become jealous and bitter.
• Your world seems lackluster and dull because you miss what’s right in front. You become preoccupied with chasing something you may not even be able to clearly identify as anything more than “different” or “better”.
• You strip yourself of your own beautiful joyous life.

There are many languages around the world, but a smile speaks them all

Creating Your Perfect Morning

I haven’t always been a morning person, but because of the way life works I learned that it is better to become one. As I started looking for ways to enjoy my mornings more I found that the start of the day gives me a good pocket of time for myself and things that I love without any kind of distractions. I also discovered that the morning can really set the mood for the rest of the day. And no matter what happens during the day, I am stocked up on positive energy from a really awesome morning.

I always try to start my day off on a positive note, like messaging good morning to my sweetheart. I like to make my bed every morning and then I head to the bathroom to wash my face & brush my teeth (the usual). I won’t really go into details about my skin care routine or anything, but I will mention that I like to use this time in the morning to pamper myself with a little extra care – like using my favorite products and taking my time to enjoy the process. After I have cleansed my face, I get my yoga mat and begin my morning yoga stretches. I think that really focusing on the positive and clearing my head in the morning as well as getting my body moving helps to ground and energize me. Next, I go back into the bathroom for a quick shower. Then it is time for me to put on some soft music, wrap myself in a robe and go do all of my girly things like my hair. Once I feel ready, I like to go straight to my kitchen and drink a glass of lemon water (without sugar or honey). This helps get my stomach excited about being awake and it is also very refreshing to the senses. The kitchen is a place I feel at peace. I feel that taking a little bit of extra time in the morning to do what I love, which is cook, is like the cherry on top of my morning. Usually just before the food is ready I click on my kettle so that I can make myself a cup of my favorite morning tea. I find that a healthy but simple breakfast such as oatmeal and fruits with a little bit of honey is perfect. I normally don’t vary in my breakfasts too much. I seem to have a few go-to favorites which I choose between depending on season and mood. Though I must admit on weekends or during holidays I get creative (and sometimes fancy) with my breakfasts and brunches. Once breakfast has been finished and my cup of tea has been sipped dry, I get dressed. I end the dressing with a spritz of a perfume which suits my mood. The morning is not complete yet, because I try to leave myself a little bit of time to read the news and do some self-reflecting or writing. Sometimes I like to read a chapter or two from a book I am reading at that moment, but since these days I have my nose buried in textbooks, I tend to just surf online for interesting articles. Afterwards, I am ready to take on the day. When I am feeling like I need a little bit of extra time, I will message my sweetheart good-morning and then leave my phone on silent to really connect with myself, avoid distractions, and charge my metaphorical batteries for the day.

She is also a part of my happy mornings! Look at that fluffy muffin face! 

I think it is very important to start your days off doing what you love and not rushing things. If you aren’t a morning person, maybe creating your perfect morning routine will make mornings more enjoyable & lead you to discovering that mornings aren’t as humdrum as you thought.

Even though you might not have time to do everything you want in the morning, try to set aside some time for yourself to do those things at other parts of the day. It is important to de-stress and relax by doing things you really enjoy, because I think that it really makes a big difference in your overall state of mind.

I am going to leave you guys with a quote I really like:

Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

Buddha

Success part 3: Advanced

Hey everyone! As you see, I have decided to change the theme of my blog! I hope you all like it as much as I do – I felt that the site needed a little change and I am very happy with how it looks now.

Today, I want to give you my tips for the intermediate steps to success. I think that this last little bit is somehow easier than the rest. I feel like after putting in all the work for the basic and intermediate steps the most difficult parts have been covered. Having already come this far means that all the previous steps have been achieved or are being achieved continuously.

So, on to the steps!

1. Inspiration: At this point, you have acquired your basic and intermediate skills that will serve as a basis for your success journey. The next step is finding someone that inspires you – a role model per se. Research them. While you “investigate” them ask questions; for example you can ask yourself: How did they come to where they are in their life? What mistakes have they made that you can avoid? How do they handle themselves? What about their character makes them a good role model to you? Etc. Once you find your inspiration, use it as a tool for acquiring some qualities that you see and admire in them. If your inspiration does not come from a role model, that is also perfectly good. Work with it (or them, if it is a person) and the skills you have mastered from the previous steps (basic and intermediate).

2. Keep challenging yourself. Just because you have done so well up until this point does not mean you cannot get any better. Never stop looking for room for improvement in yourself – I know that we should all love ourselves and who we are and so on, but really…if you want to rise above the rest and make yourself successful in whatever you are doing you need to always be at your best. Your best doesn’t have a check-point where you just say “I cannot do better” or “I cannot get better”. Perfection is unattainable, that said…it does not mean we cannot strive to be better than we were yesterday.That is why it is important to always push yourself to be at your best and find new challenges (even if small) for yourself.

3. Spend time with family. Family (and loves ones) is the most important thing above all else. They will be there when things are rough and also when things are good. Don’t lose yourself in what you are doing without making sure to spend as much time with your family/loved ones as possible. Not every day will be easy; not everything will always be sunshine and rainbows so, make sure you give your love, appreciation, and time to the people who are beside you rain or shine.

4. Don’t let criticism make you feel like you have failed. Some people will disagree with you, some people will criticize you. Some of them will be kind and respectful about it…unfortunately, there will also be people who are mean and are poor in spirit. Those are the people who just want to bring you down and make you feel inferior or just rotten, don’t let those people get what they want. No matter the case, you should always remember that you are doing what you are doing for yourself, not for the person who is standing in front of you expressing their opinion. However, keep in mind that some of the criticism and opinions may be very useful and helpful! So don’t reject or “shut off” without listening and evaluating the words of those who are telling you their views and criticisms. Also: if people speak poorly about you, just prove them wrong.

5. Spend time in the kitchen. I know this sounds really weird…but food and cooking and hosting dinners for your family is actually really great. Learn to appreciate different foods, have fun exploring the realm of food.The kitchen has long been called the heart of the home, and for good reason! Mom’s teach their kids their secrets, people fight, make-up, have conversations, eat, spend time with family, goof around, and obviously cook in the kitchen. Even if you don’t know how to cook, try to learn, it is very rewarding- trust me! If you have a partner who you love, a kitchen, and a bedroom, you really don’t need much else!

6. Get out there! Rather than spending all your time in front of a screen (computer, TV, cellphone) get out there and go for walks/hikes, go camping, stargaze at a beach, start a garden if you want, whatever you desire! Go out into the world and see what it has to offer. Travel if you can, take small trips around your own area/country if you are unable to go anywhere else.

7. Wake up with music – if possible. Honestly, having a good set of songs to listen to when you wake up all the way up to when you leave the house is a great way to boost your spirit and get you energized for the day.

8. Don’t sit around without aim unless your aim is to sit around without aim – haha. The issue here is that the moment you give some slack to yourself (without intending to), you will slowly slip back into bad habits. It is important to relax, but do so when you consciously make a decision to take a break.

9. Sweat the small stuff. A lot of you have heard the ever popular phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff”, right? There is a little trick here: don’t sweat the small stuff but, first know how to effectively differentiate between what is actually a small thing and what is disguised as a small thing but will bite you in the butt later. Successful people know they need to pay attention to even the smallest details in their life and their work, and they also know when not to sweat certain things.

10. Have fun! People who don’t know how to have fun and enjoy life will never be successful in full because they will be missing a huge chunk of life. How can someone be called truly successful when they are missing something so big? Know that no matter what happens and how far you may go, life is about living. Relish the moments that you are given on this earth.

There you have it! This wraps up my success “series”. I hope you all enjoyed it and found the advice given useful. I wish you all a good rest of the week!

A little heads up: My next 2 weeks are going to absolutely ridiculously busy due to papers, exams, and etc. I will do my best to post on the next two Wednesdays, however, if I do not get the chance to make it happen I will definitely try to find some time on another day. If things get a little too hectic, I may miss one of the two coming Wednesdays – apologies in advance – such is university with a full course load!

Until next time!

Happiness

Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

What is happiness?

Is it when you get your first raise? Well, probably. Is happiness moving into your first apartment? I’d say so. How about getting a scholar ship or an A+? What about having a big fancy house and nice car? All those things would definitely make one happy, wouldn’t you agree? I consider that those things could and most definitely do make people happy, but that’s a little bland isn’t it?
The small things in between all the big events of life seem to go unnoticed for the most part, that is…until we lack them. Which is a shame because they are what make life interesting and give it meaning. Lately I’ve began to notice that small things really mean so much more than the obvious things. Like my cat trying to wake me up in the morning and eventually dozing off next to me; feeling absolutely at bliss laying next to the person I love, or dancing around a room to a song that puts a smile on my face just because I feel like it, or looking up and seeing an uncountable amount of sparkling stars while camping. That brings more light into my life than the big generic expectations of what makes people happy. Everyone’s got something that makes them smile like a little kid, something that truly just makes them glow from the inside out. For me, the list isn’t too long but it’s decent. Sometimes my moment of happiness is unexpected, like a little flicker passes through me and I simply smile because I remembered the look on my grandfather’s face when he saw me after not seeing me for years, or when my parents and I have a laughing fit at something silly. For me, those moments are forever ingrained in my mind. The happiest moments of my life are of course to do with achievements on one level; but on another level, a much more meaningful one, my happiest moments are minute, tiny, wee fragments of time where I feel totally & completely elated in the most soul satisfying way. I wish for more of those moments in my life…and everyone else’s.

I don’t like to preach to people about what is wrong and what is right. I am not one to poke at people’s beliefs and challenge their values. However, I do think we, as a collective whole, have rooted ourselves so deeply in our technology and in ourselves that we are stuck. Only a small number of individuals are able to fully enjoy those little things that otherwise go unnoticed because, we are too stuck in our own thoughts or our cellphones or Facebook. What ever happened to conversation? We talk to people via text all the time, even in the presence of our friends or family; or Facebook message others while sitting next to someone else. We never turn off the phone and have a day with our significant other just because, just to know them a little better or to talk to them about things that normally never get said. Don’t get me wrong technology is wonderful and I couldn’t do without it for the most part (you know, university stuff, research, email, general entertainment, downloading movies)…but in all honesty, there are (many) days I just want to leave my phone turned off, laptop off and go be a human. Go enjoy someones company in person instead of texting, or go for a walk along the sea-wall and watch life around me, or even something as simple as sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows. I wonder if we are capable of not having our phones latched to us like an extra limb. Or, perhaps it’s just me. However, this is where we are at and where we will stay or even progress; c’est la vie.

In any case, my rantings of a mad woman are done now. If you don’t agree, so be it. I think a lot, and sometimes I think about thinking (I know right?) and where has that landed me? No where really. I have never once thought myself into happiness, yet have managed to think myself out of it numerous times haha. Anyway, the moral of this post is: enjoy your life, your way. Smile like a fool when you want to, laugh at stupid things that tickle your fancy, and don’t be afraid to let the light in.